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Karsyn's Kickass Jocoserious, Kooky, Jannock book blog: Sex Me Up Read-a-Thon ~ Let's Talk about Sex!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Sex Me Up Read-a-Thon ~ Let's Talk about Sex!

Sex. Why is it so hard for people to talk about sex? It's beautiful, it's fun, it's natural. It should be no different than talking about a waterfall, or a beautiful landscape. Yet, it's still a subject that most can't discuss.

You may have realized I have no qualms about that. I love sex, I love talking about sex. It MAY surprise you, however, that I wasn't always that way. I was raised VERY VERY religiously, and when I say religiously, I mean wrongly. I was taught the extremes, and I still have strange notions as to who so called "religious" people are, but that's not what this is about.

I was raised to NOT talk about sex. I wasn't given the birds and the bees talk. Sex was hidden away, it was shameful. It was something to be done only after marriage and behind closed doors, otherwise, I'd go to hell. Yeah, that's how I was raised. So, how / why the turnaround?

I discovered, after I married right out of high school to get out of the house, that I enjoyed sex. But being raised how I was, it still wasn't something I could really talk about, even with my then husband. We found we enjoyed some things together, but it wasn't through talking it out, it was through more trial and error. Once that disaster was behind me and I was with my ex, again sex was something that wasn't spoke of. We had the same sex, the same way, for the same amount of time for YEARS. I tried to spice things up, I tried to vary things, I tried to talk to him and he wasn't having it. Eventually sex dwindled to once every 6 weeks, and I was fed up. When my ex left, I was liberated, and for the first time, I was taking what I wanted, sexually.

I was careful but instead of a teenage exploration of sex, I had mine when I was 25. I started to realize what I wanted out of sex and I wasn't going to settle for anything less. I had fun, though my encounters were fewer and further between than I would have liked. I experimented, I had a great time. I did things I never thought I'd experience and I loved it all, though without a partner to experience everything with me, it was still pretty empty.

Then, my husband and I found our way to each other (we were high school best friends, hadn't seen each other in 7 years, a good story for another time), and I found my sexual match. From our first days together we clicked so well sexually. I was still painfully shy when it came to talking about sex and what I wanted, but in time, my husband chipped away at that shyness and brought out the sexual creature within me.

My husband, who had his share of women over the years before me, was NOT shy about sex. He was / is so sexual. It was so new and so fun for me. You mean we can have sex for more than 20 minutes, not missionary with the lights on? Yes please! It was wonderful. It took me a while but eventually he got me to open up more and more. He helped me express myself, to say what I wanted and not settle for anything less. He also, was willing to give me anything I wanted. There's really not much I could ask for that he'd turn me down, and he'd do a lot more than I'm willing to do.

We're coming up on 10 years together, and though sex has slowed some, we are still just as in love and want each other just as much as we did those many years ago.

That brings us to now, and talking about sex. I LOVE it. I don't have a lot of close friends, but a few of them I can talk to about erotica books but 4 of them? I can talk to about sex. And when I mean sex, I mean everything. We talk about what we've done, what we want to do, about fantasies. We share everything, and I'm closer with the friends I can talk to about sex than any other friends that I have had before. There's a special bond and intimacy with a friend you can talk to about sex, and it's wonderful.

I hope that erotica helps ladies talk about sex more, even if it's the made up tales in the books. But I'd love to see more talk about real sex. The sex they are enjoying, the sex they wish that they had, the "taboo" moments, the intimate moments. Sex is something that should be celebrated, not pushed away.

Some of you may be wondering, what it the world would you talk about with a friend about sex? There's plenty! Here's a sample of a few things that I have talked about with others. Find a close friend and ask some of these questions, share your answer to these questions. Don't be shy, don't be embarrassed. It's a natural and fun thing and I bet there is someone who'd love to start talking about sex with you!

    When did you lose your virginity? 
    Are you straight/bi/gay? 
    If you're straight, have you ever had a gay encounter?
     Have you ever had a threesome?
     How often do you have sex?
     Who is more sexually driven, you or your partner? 
     What is your favorite position?
     Would you consider yourself a very sexual person? 
     Ever watch porn (by yourself or with another)? 
    Where is the most adventurous place you've had sex? 
    Where is one place you've never had sex, that you want to?
     Ever had sex outdoors? 
     Have any crazy fantasies you want to try out? 
     Ever lived out a fantasy for you or a partner? 
     When was the last time you had sex?

I hope you all are having fantastic, wonderful, orgasmic sex, then talking about it with a friend! :)


  1. I'm definitely more...private I guess is a good word...about my sexuality, but I have to say that I'm enjoying these posts. I think it's freaking awesome that you're able to be so open about sex. I was raised in an environment (and still live in that environment) where it's just not talked about and nearly everything sexual is considered porn or a sin. Blech. Bothers me intensely. I'm plenty sexual in my private life, but I would totally be ostracized if I was honest about my sexual history/opinones/etc. with those outside my marriage. So...I guess what I'm saying is...GOOD FOR YOU!

    1. I definitely understand. I was raised the same way. It wasn't until the last 10-12 years that I started taking charge of what I wanted sexually. Now, with my hubby, our sex life is so wonderful and I love talking about it. If I wasn't already ostracized by my "family" they'd flip out about the things I talk about or do, so it's a good thing that it's just hubby and me. :) If you ever wanna talk to someone about sex, and have it be safe and private, you can always message me. :D