Our Anniversary Weekend!

It's our "together" anniversary this weekend! Jesse cooked for me last night, he's taking me out to a small place tonight for dinner and he's cooking me dinner Sunday as well. So spoiled am I!! :) Love it.

So are you wondering, why do I say it like that ~ "together"?
It's because we have a totally unique love story!

Please forgive me as I ramble, about my Love!! If you'd like to stop reading right here, that's perfectly understandable (I do go on and on!). If not, and you'd like to hear a story, let me tell you about our unique how we met / got together story!


Jesse and I actually met in the beginning of our our junior year of high school, 21 years ago right around now. Though we'd been in the same school for our Freshmen/Sophomore years, we hadn't come across each other. We met our Junior year at lunch when we sat at a table with a mutual friend.

Jesse can tell you more about that day than I can, I just know I found my best friend then. We just clicked, so fast and so strong. He was my best friend, I adored him so much. We did everything together, we were always hanging out.

While I loved him, I wasn't IN love with him, and he maintains, even 21 years later, that it was love at first sight for him. We had a VERY brief time of "more" in H.S., which I called "best friends with a twist". But I didn't want to lose him as a friend. I had always lost boyfriends, no matter what, and he was too important to me to lose, so I broke it off, because I didn't want to lose him. That backfired, because I lost him. :( We were never the same after that. I broke his heart then, and a few more times, and we were barely speaking by graduation. We saw each other just a handful of times after graduation and happened to run into each other less than 2 years later (Feb 1997), which was a very strained encounter. He was married at the time and I was newly engaged and I left saddened that I had been without my best friend and we'd never have that again.

Fast forward to the end of September of 2004. My ex had walked out almost 2 years prior. I wasn't looking for love, but I was lonely. I didn't really have many friends at the time and after being a shell of a person for a while, I decided it was time to be social again. I decided to look Jesse, and another friend, up, see if I could find them and see how they were doing. I couldn't find Jesse online anywhere, so I ended up sending him a letter to each (4) of the addresses I found for him. One was close enough to him that it found it's way to him.

At the time, Central Florida had just been hit by 4 separate hurricanes, so he had my letter a few days but when his power came back on, he emailed me right away. I can remember that so vividly. I was in the middle of the Magic Kingdom, having just done an event for work. I ran into an old friend of mine so I was walking around with them. They were headed to Splash, and had Fast Passes, so I was waiting outside for them. I checked my email on my phone and saw an email titled "I got your letter" and I was elated!! Here's some of what Jesse wrote (I'll save the emails forever!) ~

I got your letter

I can't tell you how shocked I am to hear from you. I must have read that letter a hundred times. The address was an old one, but I'm still very close to that place, so it found it's way to me anyway. I'm still almost speechless, but I'll say this - I have missed you too, and yes, I want to be your friend again.

I would love to see you, but unfortunately the timing couldn't be worse. I'm moving this weekend. I hope that we can be friends, but if we're going to see each other in person it's going to have to be in the next couple days. It would mean a lot to me if we could sit down face to face before I leave and get caught up. I'm sure we both have a lot to say about the last few years. I want to hear all about how you've been and how life has treated you.

Please let me know when you get this. I missed you too and it means the world to me that you have gotten in touch with me after all these years. I honestly thought we were out of each others lives forever. I'm so glad I was wrong.

I emailed him back right away, just briefly saying I was out and I'd write him when I got back in. I ended up leaving my friends when they got off the ride and headed home. I was so excited and I wanted to talk to my best friend again. Would he be like I remembered? Would we find that closeness we had? Would it be awkward? It seemed like it could be ok, by the tone of his email, but who knew! Here's some of what I emailed when I got in.

Re: I got your letter

Well,

Now that I'm home, let me write you properly. I check my emails on my phone sometimes, and as soon as I saw "I got your letter" I knew it was you, and I was so happy. :) I guess you only got one letter... I sent 4. LOL!! I sent one to each address that came up for you, except the arianna one.

Why are you moving? How can you move after I just found you again? LOL!! Its gotta be about me, doesn't it? Kidding! I hope that we could meet up before you go. Tomorrow is out for me, but I can meet up anytime Wed, even if we could meet up for dinner, I'd love it, if you are able to.

I'd write more, but I have so much to say, I don't know where to begin. I have so many questions, and just want to hear how you have been these too many years.

I hope to hear from you, and catch up on how you have been. Its been WAY too long, and I've missed you so much! I want to hear all about you, when you can.

We ended up emailing, then talking on the phone and then getting together that night. I went out to meet him, we met up around 10pm in a McDonald's parking lot. I was SOOOOO nervous waiting on him. When I saw him and he was walking towards me, neither of us could stop smiling. I walked into his arms and we hugged and hugged. I whispered to him "Oh Jesse, I missed you so much!"

We went back to my place and stayed up all night talking. What I was looking for that night was my best friend. What I found was someone who had never stopped loving me, even after 11+ years. How could I not fall right back?! We got together that night (October 4th 2004) and we've been together ever since. It wasn't a typical relationship from the start. We didn't have any awkward "getting to know you" phase, all we had to do was catch up on 7 years of what we missed in each others lives, but we knew each other already.

Since then we have basically said that we felt like we've been married since that first week together, because in our hearts, we were. We did end up making it official though, Mar 1st 2007, but we never even really celebrate that date, today is the important anniversary to us. Today is when we got "back" together. Hard to believe it's been 10 years!!

We had our rocky moments in the beginning, it wasn't always perfect, especially since I was still hung up on my ex for quite a while. But we made it through and became stronger than anything I thought possible. Since then, life has thrown us into hell, but through it all, we remained strong. Our love kept us going when neither of us wanted to. It's been rough but our love is amazing. Being married to your best friend in the world is so wonderful. Even after all these years, we still are always talking to each other, and hate being apart. He's my Best Friend, my Lover, my Husband, my Everything.

Jesse & I ~ 21 years ago

Jesse & I ~ 7 1/2 years ago ~ our Wedding Photo

Jesse & I ~ 5 years ago & 2 years ago

my Love,

My words fail me, as I try to come up with something wonderful and meaningful to say, but really, You know it all anyways. You know me, us, who we are and where we've been. Couples have crumbled under far less pain, yet here we are, still so strong, still so in love. We didn't break.

You are my Best Friend, my Lover, my everything. Without You, there is no me. You hold all of me in Your heart, Your hands, Your soul, to do with me as You wish. i am broken and You are the glue that holds me together. i am empty and You breathe life into me. i am lost, You are my north star.

Everything i am, for better or worse, i am for You. i love You with everything i have.

ilYM. istY. iaYlg. iaY.

The Real Me

by Clay Aiken

Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile, don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break?
How much will they take before I'm empty?
Do I let it show, does anybody know?

But you see the real me hiding in my skin, broken from within
Reveal me completely, I'm loosening my grasp
No need to hold back my frailty 'cause you see the real me

Painted on, life is behind a mask, self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance, living a charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now and still I see somehow

That you see the real me hiding in my skin, broken from within
Reveal me completely, I'm loosening my grasp
No need to hold back my frailty, oh 'cause you see the real me

Shadows are shattered dreams, they follow me they've haunted me
But you've taken the broken pieces of my life and helped me to believe

'Cause you see the real me hiding in my skin, broken from within
Reveal me completely, I'm loosening my grasp
No need to hold back my frailty, oh 'cause you see the real me